I'm Not Ready.

I'm not ready for you to get your first haircut. Am I pushing it off because your long, blonde hair is so wild and crazy, just like you? Or because once it's cut it will lose that baby softness that keeps you little?

I'm not ready for you to stop asking me to play. Sure, sometimes I think I have more important things to do and I don't really want to sit on the floor and try to color as you decide you only want the crayons that I'm currently using. But, someday you'll be asking to go out with your friends and I will wish we could color just one more time. 

I'm not ready for you to stop enjoying a good cuddle with me. Secretly, when you aren't feeling well, I enjoy it. Just a little. You're so snuggly then, and I relish in those snuggles, getting to hold you a little longer, falling asleep in my arms like you did when you were small.

I'm not ready for you to sleep in your own bed every night. I enjoyed co-sleeping (gasp!) when you were smaller, and even though you may kick me and push your dad off side of the bed, I love the warmth of your body sleeping between us. I even love waking up to the very creepy shadowy figure at the side of my bed in the middle of the night whispering, "Can I lay with you?"

I'm not ready for another baby, but only children aren't enough for other people. "Are you going to have another?" "When are you having your next? You don't want them to be too far apart in age!" "Oh, you say no now, but you'll  have another eventually!" "Don't you want Ellie to be a big sister?" "She'll be so lonely!" No, I'm not ready for another, and I don't know if I'll ever be ready. Maybe someday. But for now, I love my little family.

I'm not ready for you to grow up. I'm so excited to see who you will be, what will interest you, and all of the mountains you'll climb. But let's not rush it. Sweet, caring, funny, stubborn, and smart. Stay my little girl forever.

#motherhood #growingup

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All