Is it a prerequisite for motherhood to have an unhealthy amount of guilt? Or is it caused by the gig?
I'm an anxious person by nature, so I've always felt a lot of guilt over a lot of things. But as a mom, I feel guilty about pretty much everything.
For example, I took a few days off from work this week. Is Ellie at school today, even though I'm home? Yes, yes she is. Do I feel guilty? Sure. But I have to remember that I want to get some housework done and to take some time for myself. And I have to pay for daycare whether she is there or not. So, she's there today.
Yesterday, I did keep her home with me and attempted to clean the house (not my best idea). Did I maybe let her watch too much Doc McStuffins? Possibly. Do I feel guilty that I let the TV watch her while I vacuumed? Of course. But I have to remember that this is not a daily occurrence. We like to watch movies as a family, but rarely do we watch TV. And, the more I listened to Doc while doing the dishes, the more I thought she was pretty good at her job. The only real negative is that Ellie keeps trying to diagnose me now. Not sure I want to hear what she comes up with as a diagnosis...
I also feel guilty that I'm giving Ellie too much sugar, that I'm not planning enough fun activities for her on the weekends (or maybe too many and she will end up being spoiled?), that I shouldn't buy myself a new shirt but I should buy her new clothes instead, that I'm clogging her arteries when we order out pizza because I'm too tired to make dinner, and too many other examples to name here.
I think the thing to remember when we feel guilty about giving our kids an indulgence or taking time for ourselves, is that we're striving to do our best as parents. We feel guilty because whatever we're doing is probably not the norm and it's okay to deviate now and then. Ellie still knows I love her even though I sent her to school today and who knows, maybe she will grow up to be a doctor because I let her watch too much Doc McStuffins.